I Once Had A Lover

Has a certain smell ever flooded you with memories or put you in a certain mood?

Well for the past couple of weeks it has been songs and not smells that have brought back so many memories.

For the last two months I’ve taken a break from everything, and I really do mean everything! I’ve mostly been home trying to figure out who I really am as a person and as an artist.  I mostly took a break from photography. I just felt like I needed a break from shooting because there was a point where I found myself just shooting without being fully invested into a shoot or doing photoshoots that had no meaning to me. I want to finally start doing photoshoots other than just my friends half naked. Don’t get me wrong, I love all the shoots I’ve done up to this point but I just dont want to keep doing that.

While trying to find myself I’ve listened to a lot of music. Most of these songs have been songs I’ve saved in playlists since I was 13. Most of the people I am close to know how much of an emotianl person I am, so I’m sure by now you’ve come to the conclusion that most of these songs have been really depressing. The thing about me is I like to remember all the sad moments Ive been through, it keeps me sane and makes me feel alive.

Most of these songs remind me of how much I cried when I was 17 and went through the worst heartbreak. Some remind me of the summer of 2012 when I spent most of my time in public trandportation on my way to meet up with friends in Eagle Rock. Others remind me of drivng down the freeway with Kai talking about previous relationship experiences which usually end up with me crying. Or laying in Rose's bed crying and complaining about life