No More Chasing Rainbows

I've been feeling so uninspired and unmotivated for the last three weeks.  I don't know why, but I haven't had motivation to blog, do a photoshoot or even draw. This is such a bad feeling for someone like me. I'm my worst critic and feeling like I'm wasting time by not doing anything creative sucks.

I've felt so uneasy for the past few weeks and I cried it all out last night. Then I looked back at the person I was a year ago and cried some more. These aren't tears of sadness but tears of joy. For the first time in a long time I can say that I'm genuinely happy and care for myself and my mental health. I finally love myself. I've realized how much I've grown and changed in the past 4 months and that makes me feel so proud of myself. It feels really good to finally put myself first and not worry about someone else. I'm no longer worried about being happy with someone else because now I'm happy with myself and the person that I've become.

I'm crying while I look back at everything I went through for the past year and realizing how much a toxic situation broke me and how much it changed me. Despite everything I went through I'm really proud of myself for finally putting an end to it, walking away, and finding strength in not to go back to someone who hurt me so much.

I'm proud of my art, and my motivation to keep growing as an artist. Most of all, I'm proud of who I am becoming.

I'm so happy and grateful to have such amazing people around me who remind me that I have to always put myself first and not lose myself trying to change someone.

What I'm trying to say is this: you have to put an end to the wars in your mind and focus on yourself and the things that genuinely make you happy. Surround yourself with people who make you want to grow and change into someone you're proud of. Stop playing someone else's game and live your own life.