Dildos And Ben & Jerry's

Relationships, we’ve all been in them and most of the time they don’t end up like we wish they would.

It all starts fine and you think you’ve finally met your soulmate and life will now be peaches and cream, but it won’t. The same cycle repeats it self. You meet a person go an a few dates, have sex a few times, eventually become a couple,months go on and then it’s just a routine and eventually get tired of each other. I mean it’s fun while it lasts but then what? You move on to the next until you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

I was in a relationship with someone for about a year. I was completely in love and thought I’d spend the rest of my life with and we’d be there for each other no matter what. Looking back at it I don’t regret anything and I wouldn’t change anything, I was happy with him. He made me feel like nothing else mattered, like I could do anything I set my mind to and always reminded me not to care about what people had to say. I can genuinely say that while I was with him I was the happiest I’ve been. He came at a time in my life where I needed someone there, a friend just wasn’t enough. I need those calls in the middle of the night and the I love you texts, they reminded me that I was still alive. Looking back at it now I realize how unhappy I was the last two months of the relationship, constantly fighting and having the same conversations over and over again was so tiring. I was at a point where I didn’t fully trust him and all we’d do was fight over the same thing, I was no longer happy with the person I had fallen in love with.

I knew the relationship was over before it did, I just didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to let go of the one person who made me feel so alive. I was scared of being alone again, I was scared of feeling empty and I was scared of seeing him be with someone else. I’ll always love him no matter what, and I’ll always compare each guy to him and realize no guy will ever compare to him.

When the relationship finally ended I didn’t know what to do, I felt so empty inside, all I could do was cry and sleep for two weeks. Letting someone go who you love so much is the worst feeling ever and it’s hard having to get used to the idea that they will no longer be there everyday. If a year ago I would’ve somehow still had a chance to get back with him I would’ve probably taken the opportunity and ran with it, now I just wish him the best with everything. Why put myself through all of that again? Would it really be worth it now?

I have people in my life now who are in relationships that might not be the best but for some reason they can’t seem to snap out of it and just say “I’m done with this”. I ask myself “are they that in love with each other or are they just used to each other that they can’t seem to let go?”. Many times that’s what’s relationships turn themselves into, a habit. Two people who are so used to having one another that even though the relationship is shit they’re still together or break up and eventually get back together. Are all those tears and fights really worth it? Or are they just scared to go back home to an empty bed?

People want a relationship because they’re scared of being alone, they’re scared of not having someone at the end of the day tell them the sweet things they want hear. Wether or not we want to admit it we all want someone there at the end of the day to makes us feel loved, it may seem narcissistic but that’s just how we are.

In my opinion you don’t need a relationship, just buy yourself a dildo and a bucket of your favorite Ben & Jerry’s flavor.